*stays alive just in case things get better*

not feeling too great physically. i have the weird headache again and my arms are tingly. i dont want the weird thing to happen again. have my ecg tomorrow :((

Sociology A-Level


Mental illness isn’t just an ‘unseen disease’ or a ‘silent disease.’

Most of the time, it is purposefully hidden.

Last night I thought to myself, “I hope I die in my sleep.”. I don’t want to think like that and I am scared that I am thinking like that again. I don’t want to feel so low all the time, and if I am honest I am struggling with suicidal thoughts again. 

Everything is getting to me.

tagged: +personal 

stop being so rude to me. 
just stupid things. 
im going to get in trouble because i didnt do the washing up. it wasnt my turn. im tired. normally i would, but tonight i just am too tired to do anything. im going to shouted at so badly. i dont care. if you shout i will leave. i need one more push. 
i hope you shout, i really do, because then i can leave.

what am i saying. 
no one cares. 
i cannot let myself cry. 

wow i miss my dad. it’s weird to think of myself as only having one parent. 
nothing will be the same again. i can never be the same again.i dont like change.

I don’t know what to do anymore. What do I feel. Who do I talk to. I feel so lonely. I’m on my own. I know I am. I am so different to everyone else.

tagged: +personal 

She walked off and left me in the dark again.
Fuck not self harming just because it makes you mad.

tagged: +personal 

I’m feeling low and I’m feeling stressed. I don’t really know what to do. I just feel so out of place. 
Today my Mum called me selfish for not giving my nephew a puzzle I got recently at a charity shop. My sister called me lazy for not having a job. My nephew told me I’m a cow who never stops eating. They just keep telling me lots and lots and lots of things like that. 
I’m so fed up of being around my family, they make me feel so fed up of just being alive I guess. 
I don’t know. I feel nobody really cares about me anymore, like none of my friends really do. I don’t know why I feel like that. The evil people keep telling me how no one really likes me and I guess I have to believe them. All just whispers. 

I’m so tired. I have so much to do though. I don’t know if I can do college this week. It all seems like too much.

tagged: +personal  +eupd  +bpd  +depression 

Perfect Contrition (Can’t See The Moon)
by Kaethe Butcher


Perfect Contrition (Can’t See The Moon)

by Kaethe Butcher

Anonymous asked: i hope you feel better

I’m feeling much better today thank you, Anon. I felt strange for a short while earlier but nothing compared to yetsterday.